One Last Christmas Wish

    The sound of sirens grew louder and then faded as the ambulance sped by. A block away Christmas carols could be heard sung by the people singing in the streets, all wrapped up in their coats and scarves and hats.

    Michael Cox smirked at the contradicting natures of the two sounds. He took another drag off his cigarette, blowing a small cloud of smoke into the air, before snuffing it out on the snowy ground.

    “Sounds like another Merry Christmas for someone,” he laughed mirthlessly. He pulled his long coat closer around himself, pulled the hood over his spiky black hair, to block out the cold and the falling snow.

    Michael didn’t care for winter; he’d always thought it was too cold. Tonight was just the kind of night Michael would normally never venture into, but he couldn’t stand stay in. He’d needed an escape from the same four walls of his apartment for a bit. As the gelid air bit into his skin though, he quickly regretted that decision.

    ‘What was I thinking?’ He came to the street corner and waited until the crosswalk switched from “Don’t Walk” to “Walk” so that he could escape the Yuletide spirit. This time of year always brought out the worst in him, not that he was Mr. Sunshine the rest of the year mind you. He crossed when the light changed, glaring at a driver that looked like he wouldn’t stop. Not that it would’ve been entirely the driver’s fault, what with Michael walking around at night dressed all in black. He dressed every day of the year as if he were in mourning; color just annoyed him. Joy annoyed him, if such a thing truly existed.

    As the years went by Michael questioned more and more why this time of year was supposed to be special just because of something that happened over two thousand years ago. Nothing else was different about it. Bad things still happened. Did something like that really have any impact on the world today?

    “As if it could.” He looked up at the millions of snowflakes that reflected in the streetlight as they fluttered to the ground. Despite himself, he couldn’t deny that they looked pretty in the vaguely orange-colored light. He hated when something he detested looked pretty to him, and he sneered at himself for it.

    “You won’t find it if you look for it.”

    The sudden voice startled Michael, interrupting his self-loathing. He looked down to find the owner; a girl that looked about seventeen stared up at the snow in the light with him.

    “Excuse me?”

    She looked up at him, the light sparkling in her silver eyes. “The Christmas Star; the one the Three Wise Men followed to Bethlehem. You won’t find it if you look for it.”

    Michael scoffed and turned from the girl. “Who’d look for something so useless?”

    “It is not useless,” she whined, chasing after him.

    “Anything even remotely related to Christmas is useless,” he affirmed with a hard glance. “Like that outfit of yours.”

    “You think so?” she asked, astonished. “I thought it was pretty cute.” The girl was dressed in a red velvet knee-length dress trimmed with white fur at the collar, hem, and sleeves. Green mittens covered her hands, white stockings her legs, and black boots on her feet. She wore a festive Santa hat and fluffy white earmuffs kept her head warm.

    “You look like a little brat.”

    “You’re colder than the snow, aren’t you?” she teased, running around in front of him and walking backwards with her hands behind her back. “What’s making such a Scrooge of you?”

    “You’re going to fall walking like that.”

    She pursed her lips at him and turned back around, folding her arms behind her head. “Definitely colder than the snow.”

    They walked in silence for a bit before the girl spoke up again. “I’m Krissy, what’s your name.”

    “Michael.”

    “Not much of a talker, are you?” she asked, looking over her shoulder.

    Michael just shrugged nonchalantly before turning a corner.

    “Hey, are you trying to get rid of me?”

    “Are you trying to follow me?”

    Krissy laughed. “Who knows?”

    ‘Weird girl.’ He rolled his eyes, but he let her follow along. It was none of his business what she did. He kept walking, ignoring the old man ringing the bell and standing next to the tiny bucket. What was the point in giving up some spare change? It wouldn’t solve the problems of the world, not ever on Christmas.

    “Merry Christmas,” he heard his stalker say, assuming she’d donated before running to catch up with him. “Why didn’t you give any?”

    “No point.”

    “Man, you are a Grinch aren’t you? When everyone’s asleep are you gonna dress up a dog like a reindeer and go around robbing people?”

    “Even if I don’t, I’m sure someone will. What better time than when everyone’s house is loaded with extra crap?”

    Krissy heaved an exasperated sigh. There was some logic to what he said, negative as it was.

    “If I’m so frustrating then why are you still following me? You look like a high-schooler; don’t you have a family to be with?”

    “And miss your cheerful company?” she teased, her tone becoming dry. It quickly perked up though. “I’m meeting a friend in this area.”

    Michael shrugged. “Don’t know why you’d want to meet anyone in this hellish part of town. Unless your friend is really your pimp.”

    “I am not a streetwalker,” she admonished him. “Besides, what are you doing here if it’s so bad?”

    “I live here.”

    “Then you have no room to talk,” she declared, closing the matter.

    Michael growled under his throat. This girl was too cheerful; it was starting to piss him off. At least he was home, that was one thing to be happy about. “Well, this is my place,” he said, indicating the raggedy building next to them. “It’s been… irritating.”

    Krissy opened her mouth to talk but was interrupted by the sound of a polyphonic ‘Here Comes Santa Claus’ ringtone. She dug her mittened hand into her pocket and pulled free a red phone with a tassel shaped like a tiny wreath hanging from it. “Just a sec,” she said before answering the phone. “Hello? Hi! Yeah, I’m close. I’m at…” she held the phone away. “Hey, where are we?”

    Michael rubbed his brow with his fingers, his patience nearly gone. “426 East Meadow Lane.”

    “426 East Meadow Lane,” the girl said merrily into the phone. “Huh? Yeah, I met him on the street and started following him. Okay, I’ll wait here for you. See you soon.” She hung up and looked to Michael, only to see him going into the building. “Hey, you’re not going to leave me in the cold are you?”

    A terrible cough tore through the man, causing him to grab hold of the doorframe to keep his balance. “You’re waiting for a friend; how will they find you if you’re inside?” he asked, his breathing labored.

    She ignored his question, asking one of her own with clear concern. “Are you okay?”

    Michael took a few more breaths to regain his composure before straightening up. “I’m fine. Just been a little sick the last few weeks,” he admitted. “If you want to come in you can, but if you miss your friend that’s your own fault. And be warned, it’s not much warmer in there.”

    “How come?” she wondered, following him through the door and up the stairs.

    “Didn’t pay my bills, so they shut my heat off.”

    “At Christmas time?” She was astonished to hear such a thing.

    “Why not? Bad things happen in this world, no matter what time of the year. There’s nothing special about it.”

    “That’s not true,” she wailed, waving her arms at him. “This is an absolutely magical time of year when anything can happen.”

    “Anything?” He scoffed at the idea, opening the door to his apartment and flipping on the lights. “Surprised that one’s not turned off yet.”

    He was right, it was cold. Krissy looked around the single room and became nauseous at how messy it was. Clothes and dishes and empty take-out containers littered the floor and every available surface. There was a distinct garbage and sweat sock smell to the place. He was definitely single.

    Something on the dresser caught her eye and she walked over to inspect the little black box. “What’s this?” she asked, starting to open it only to have it snatched away.

    “Don’t touch that!” he coughed at her as he walked back to the kitchen to try and get the stove on.

    “It looks like a ring box.”

    “It’s not of any concern to you,” he told her sternly, shoving it into his pocket. “You can see the street from the window over the bed. Go wait for your friend.”

    “I’ve never been in a boy’s bed,” she laughed. Upon inspecting the furniture piece she cringed. “I don’t think this is the one I want to be my first either.”

    “If my place is so disgusting to you then get out.” He got the stove working and filled a kettle with water, placing it there to heat. Another ragged cough wracked his body, his mouth starting to taste like pennies.

    “That cough sounds pretty bad. Have you seen a doctor?”

    “No point.”

    Krissy sighed and shrugged. “Your funeral.”

    “I could only be so lucky…”

    Awkward silence settled into the room and sat there with them as if it had been invited too. Michael just stared at the kettle, waiting. Krissy stood next to his bed, glancing between him and the window every now and then. She jumped when the kettle started to wail, and watched as he took two cups down from the cupboard, placed teabags in them, and then filled them with steaming water.

    “Do you take cream or sugar?”

    “Sugar.”

    Another cabinet door was opened and a bag of sugar and bottle of honey were taken down. He dripped a few drops of honey into the cups, followed by a spoonful of sugar. He lifted the cups and crossed to her, forcing one into her hands and then taking a sip from his own.

    Krissy stared down at her cup, her mind turning things over. One of those things was how clean the cup even was.

    “If you didn’t want it then why’d you tell me how you like it?” he asked, watching her with a somewhat annoyed gaze.

    She smiled. “Sorry, was just thinking.” She took a quick sip, letting the liquid warm her. “Can I ask you something Michael?”

    “You just did,” he snorted, taking another drink.

    She puffed up her cheeks and frowned at him, but continued. “How come you’re being as nice to me as you have? You don’t exactly seem like the type to have strangers over for tea”

    Michael set his cup down and made for the bathroom. “You think I’ve been nice?” he asked through the door. He came back out after washing his hands, going to the kitchen to dry them while he spoke. “I just haven’t cared what you’ve done. I’ve replied when you’ve spoken to me because it’s rude to ignore someone. I told you flat out I didn’t care if you came in or not. And I offered you tea because if I didn’t then I’d be a bad host.” He crossed back passed her to his drink, but collapsed to his knees in another fit of coughing.

    “Don’t bother!” he told her when she made to help him. He waited until the coughing stopped and then straightened back up. “I don’t like being rude,” he finished his explanation before taking a drink, ignoring that the coughing had happened.

    “Well then would you be so polite as to answer this?”

    “What?”

    ‘That was rude,’ she told herself. “Why do you hate Christmas? There must be some reason. Didn’t you ever enjoy the Holidays?”

    Michael finished his tea and set the cup down on the dresser. He turned to look out the window, watching the snow fall. Once again he cursed himself for thinking how pretty it looked in the streetlight. “Three years ago, my girlfriend and I were going to go on a date on Christmas Eve.” He pulled the little box he’d previously placed in his pocket out and opened it. Inside was a diamond ring.

    “That’s gorgeous,” Krissy said, her eyes sparkling at the sight. She was sad when he snapped the box shut with a loud clap.

    “I wonder if Clara would’ve thought so,” Michael mused.

    “She never saw it?”

    He shook his head and slid the box back into his pocket, patting it. “She worked for a catering service, and was working a party that night; Christmas party for some big company. I offered to pick her up, but she said she’d get off early and take the bus to come meet me. She never showed up. When she was an hour late I went out looking for her.” Tears welled in his eyes. “I came across the scene of a crash being cleaned up. I didn’t think much of it until I walked by and saw a little white teddy bear lying in the snow. It was the one I had given her back in high school, on our first date; she always had it on her purse strap. I called every hospital in the area until I found her. But… by the time I got there she was gone. She’d been hit by a drunk driver… coming from the very same party she’d been working at.”

    He clenched a fist and pounded it into the wall. “If I had just gone to pick her up anyway she’d still be here! We’d be married now, probably have a baby. I’d be able to get a job without thinking it was pointless to have and be living in a house with her, instead of this hellhole!” He swung his arm dramatically around the room, revealing a look of absolute self-loathing in his eyes.

    “We’d have a Christmas tree and would be trying to sneak presents to one another under it! Or in bed whispering sweet nothings back and forth! But I just had to let her come home on her own! Because of me she’d dead!”

    Krissy stared at him with watery eyes. Her heart had been wrenched over the tragic story, causing the tears to fall down her cheeks. “It’s not your fault,” she whispered. “You can’t blame yourself for something you ever knew would happen.”

    “What would you know?” he yelled, shattered his cup against the wall. Right away a coughing fit tore through him and he fell again.

    Krissy ran to him, her cup splashing to the floor. “Michael!” she cried, holding him in her arms. “Hang in there, I’ll get help.” She noted the blood on his lips and her worry further welled as she dug out her phone.

    There was a knock at the door.

    Michael stopped her dialing by placing his hand over hers. He wiped the blood from his mouth and, using the festive-clad girl for support, struggled to his feet. “Don’t bother,” he said, staggering to the door.

    “But Michael,” she started, only to be interrupted by her ringing phone.

    “From your friend?” he asked, his hand on the doorknob.

    Krissy nodded. “Yeah, she’s here and waiting,” she told him grimly. “What about you though?”

    “Go to your friend. Don’t worry about me.” He turned the knob and pulled the door open to a blinding white light.

    It was like nothing Michael had ever seen before. It was warm and dazzling, exciting and calming. It filled him with hope, with joy, and with wonder. Suddenly it was like all the answers to Christmas were right before him. Everything he’d been missing was suddenly flooding back.

    “Michael,” came a voice. Within the light he could make out a figure. She was a woman; beautiful beyond belief. Her hair was the color of hazelnuts, somewhat curly, blowing in an unfelt wind. Her eyes were a crystalline blue more spectacular than the snow could ever hope to be. She wore a billowing white gown printed with golden snowflakes, white fur adorning the sleeves and collar. Around her neck was a gold chain with a heart-shaped locket that Michael instantly knew.

    “Clara?” he asked in disbelief.

    “Of course silly,” the woman answered, taking his hand in both of hers; they were just as soft as they had always been. “Come on Michael, we’re still going on our date aren’t we?”

    Michael was in awe, his mouth hanging open. This was it; this was real. Clara was there before him like she was supposed to be. It was a miracle, a Christmas Miracle! It had to be.

    “Y-yeah, I’m ready,” he said, barely able to contain his excitement. He took a step forward, but stopped. “Wait, let me check.” He felt his pocket to make sure he hadn’t lost the ring. After three years, three lonely Christmases of waiting, tonight was the night. “Okay, I’m ready.”

    “Then let’s go,” she said pulling him out the door.

    Michael just smiled and looked back at Krissy. She was kneeling on the floor, holding his lifeless body in her arms, only she looked different. She had gotten much larger, in both height in girth, bigger than even him. Her red dress had become a red coat and pants and her hair had dulled to snowy white, extending down to form a large beard over her mouth and rosy nose.

    “Thank you Krissy… Kris,” Michael said to the legendary figure waving to him.

    Kris just smiled and laughed a deep laugh. “Ho ho ho. Merry Christmas.”